As I turn twenty seven tomorrow, a part of me normally gets emotional on my birthday – because I’m turning another year older. I usually reflect what everything I’ve learned, my goals and my aspirations in life. However, lately I’m actually feeling a bit more calm as I realized that maybe growing older isn’t so much of a bad thing. I’ve had a few realizations the past few months that I’d like to share and maybe growing older actually means knowing yourself more, knowing your worth, knowing what you want and knowing your happiness.
“If you want it, go for it. Take a risk. Don’t always play safe or you’ll die trying. If you always do something you are a little not ready to do, that’s when and how you grow. When there’s the moment of uncertainty on accomplishing things and you push through — that moment is when you’ll have a breakthrough.”
Someone once told me that most people are scared than brave and that statement makes me sad. I wish more people could be brave and take more chances. I wish there were more authentic people who wants the best for you and everyone around them but lately I realized that world we live in — everyone is mostly here to fend for themselves and I’m sure there’s many valid reasons behind this and how they even got there; even I, myself am learning to find out why but my hope is to never be the person who only lives for themselves.
A few months before I turned 27, I realized that:
- You will need to start taking of yourself more (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) — you don’t have a 21 year old body anymore. You can no longer party 3 nights in a row. You will need to work out 3 to 4 times a week — I sure need to start doing that soon. Your family and friends can only be there for you so much, you need to start taking care of yourself and ask yourself what’s destroying your inner peace?
- You will lose people/things in your life that are not meant to be with you forever (friends, lovers, relationships, jobs) — the past few years, I realized that losing people or things in general is inevitable, some are meant to be in your life for a few months, years even but that doesn’t mean that’s the end of you. Often times, we tend to seek validation from people or things that we hold value in our lives. This has happened to me before and my only hope is for everyone to know their selves first and love their selves enough to no longer need anyone for any kind of validation. Sometimes you also lose people or things just simply because they no longer fit in the kind of life you see your life heading and that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad thing. It just means another door has closed so another one can open for the right people in your lives.
- You start doing whats’s right for you — anyone else in their early to mid twenties felt stuck in the wrong relationship, job, career, toxic friendships? The good news is this happens less as you get older, by 27, you start to realize the only person looking out for you is you & those you can fully trust and has the best interest in your life. However, you still have to make the choice for yourself. Your best friend can only tell you a million times to drop that f***boy who doesn’t do you any good, but you’d still have to make the decision for yourself. When you realize that, you start to prioritize yourself and your own interests over others. As you get older, you start to realize what’s right for you.. what you’re looking for.. your goals and do all these things tie into your life?
- You can start all over again — this ties into the point above. Feeling stuck? You hate the choices you’ve made the past few years? You can still pick up a new hobby, a new career and kick ass in it. You can drop everything off and travel for a year and pick up where you left off.
- You no longer FOMO — you don’t have the fear of missing out any longer. You don’t go partying at the club till 2 AM anymore, or go to the latest raves just because your circle of friends are going. In fact, you start scrolling down your social media early saturday morning and say “I’m so glad I wasn’t there… there’s so many people.” You will enjoy your privacy a lot and alone time. You will start appreciating the simple things in life… and that you no longer have to try hard to fit in.. because you no longer care & you’re content with who you are.
- You’re more intentional and confident — with your actions, friendships, decisions, relationships, careers. I don’t go around trying hard to make new friends, just so i can gain more friends in my life. I know by now who I can depend on at my worst and laugh with at my best and I absolutely love them for it. You don’t look at yourself anymore feeling inferior of other people’s success. You are generally happy for your friends that are engaged, married, traveling another world, popped another baby and know that you will get there in your own time. You are also more intentional with your actions. You’ve learned that not everyone needs a reaction. (this was a really hard lesson for me to learn, personally) You learn how to pick your battles. Not everyone deserves your time, your worth and your energy.
- You also know by now that kindness is key & what love means… everyone is struggling and just trying to make it as much as you are… so you now choose to be kind even when you’re hurting… You’ve fallen in love and got your heartbroken maybe once, twice or many times by now. Yet, despite of all the pain and fear, you heal and will fall in love again. You will take a risk again. You will choose to love again because you’ve managed to make it through your first heartbreak (& from what I’ve heard –that’s the hardest) & only because you know that love is always worth it, especially when it’s rare and authentic. But just because you’re giving love a chance once again – it doesn’t mean that you will be as foolish as before. You’re stronger, wiser and lastly, you’ve learned the meaning of self-love the past few years to know the difference between what’s worth it, what’s a waste of time and when to start walking away… You know yourself enough to know what you can bring down on the table and offer and what you can and cannot compromise in.