metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, self or way of life
These photos were taken approximately three months ago in Alabama Hills, where we celebrated one of my best friend’s birthday. Funny how life happens and change, as I grew up, I realized it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones.
Not So Fun Fact About Me: I moved around schools growing up – so I was always the new girl that everybody judged at the beginning and by the time I felt like I found my group of friends, it’s time to move again. Because of this, I learned how to adapt to my surroundings very quickly —although I still had a difficult time finding my real friends. Growing up, I’ve always felt like I was “too much” for most people or “too good” and I had a hard time feeling at home or finding my tribe.
For years, I’ve prayed and hoped to find some weirdos that like adventures, taking pictures, brunching, being silly and creative, laughing, being on the go, who aren’t afraid to get real with you and bring you back to ground and reality as I’m often day dreaming somewhere up in the clouds in la la land. I’m glad to say that I finally found them after twenty six years— they were worth every wait. I realized what true friendship was once I met people who would always love me with my imperfect self, confused self, and my wrong self.
And because of them, i’ve learned more about myself than I ever did before. Recently, a good friend of mine made me realize that I like to run away and not deal with relationship/personal issues because it scares me to face them; so often times, I mask my problems with work, other activities until it ends up blowing in my face. I’ve also learned that we are often attracted to the same kind of people for a reason — are they filling in a void? and if so, what is that void and why? However, as I look back for the past three months, I actually feel wiser and stronger that somewhere along the line I feel like a different person. I’m no longer afraid to tackle things that I normally would prefer not to deal with. Often times, I still need a bit of a push but I am thankful to have found the courage through my experiences and the mistakes I’ve made from the past.
What do you think about this dress that I made for this shoot? Also, as January is ending have you thought about all the things you’ve learned from last year already? They say that January is the trial month! Sadly, you only have a few days left. 😉